obviously this isn't a daily journal ~ ha ha ~ i suppose i should change my blog description to weekly journal ~ then i wouldn't be so far behind at this point :) time is flying by . . . as in, it's already december? where did the year go? geez. after a lovely, relaxing time in houston with my parents and a few friends, lyle and i made our way back to SA just in time for turkey. sean had to work thanksgiving day but was home by 1pm, so it wasn't too long of a day for him. we made cornbread dressing, roasted potatoes and a salad to take over to sue lin and preman's house for a great dinner with friends. what a nice way to spend the holiday :)
the weekend continued with lyle's big day - turning 5!! he burst into our room saturday morning singing the "i'm five years old today" song :) he loved his presents - all wonderful boy things like a transformer, spiderman and a power rangers helmet - woo hoo. chicken nuggets for dinner and a cupcake for dessert ~ perfect. unfortunately both sean and i felt awful the whole day - thankfully the bub didn't notice ;) not with all of those new toys to play with!
decorated the house for the holidays ~ love, love, love my new blue tree :) trying to get into the spirit! back to work yesterday - then off today. had breakfast with friends and then went to a movie by myself ~ lovely. after reading "twilight" while in houston, i find myself obsessed with a book and movie that seem more suited to my 20yo self - not the 40yo i see in the mirror each morning. it's a great book, and i anxiously await the other three in the series - c'mon amazon!! the movie was properly corny and cheesy and romantic and intense ~ and edward (or rather the gorgeous man who portrays him) was appropriately tragic and beautiful. i left the theater swooning over him :) oh, to be young again!
and that brings me to this moment where i find myself quite depressed. though i know that i have a million things to be thankful for - and i am truly thankful - i still feel quite sad. it comes in waves at weird times, and i am often moved to tears for no apparent reason. the underlying reason i think is related to my 41st year - and not really knowing what i want to do with my life, not really fitting in with my current life, wanting something else, not something tangible, wanting to find myself, my passion, my calling and still not being able to define it. i've been searching for so long.
sorry to be so gloom and doom today - but this is where i am - and i have to hope that tomorrow may bring a bit of clarity. thank you for listening :)
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